Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
