so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
