He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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