So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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