Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
