You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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