I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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