Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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