it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
