ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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