we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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