I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
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I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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