Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
wow bdsm is so cute
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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