On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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