Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Church boner. Awkwardddd
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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