Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hippo gnu deer
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
