eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize