we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
