If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my being single is dangerous.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
