Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
