Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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