These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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