Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
