My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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