Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This baby is an asshole
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
