we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
