I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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