he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
