I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
