I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize