I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
