Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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