heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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