bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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