I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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