you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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