He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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