"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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