I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize