we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
