So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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