So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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