you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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