On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
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Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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