nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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