make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
