there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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