its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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