he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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