OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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