is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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