i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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