So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize