Umm I'm too high to move.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
