what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
