God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
